No pressure, just perfectly imperfect.

Let's talk about the pressure to be perfect. Or the pressure to appear perfect. Either way, it's pressure. Life, social media, friends, families, or our jobs, some area of our lives wants to push us to succumb to the weight of perfection. Think about it, any given IG profile has perfect pictures of a family, husband, wife, 3 cute kids, and a puppy, all coiffed and posed for the cameras. There are the happy career professionals, briefcase toting and stiletto strutting to the office, not a hair out of place, or the happy homemaker with an immaculate home. You know the type, the one on the YouTube video that does the clean with me video, but their home is already spotless.

Meanwhile, you hike to the office with your old gym sneakers, some saltine crackers in your purse because you didn't have enough time for breakfast, and a coffee stain on your shirt. Your house is together… meaning it doesn't smell like a Diaper Genie, but it's probably not camera-ready. You and your real-life vs. the life they force you to pine after. We all, at one point or another, feel the pull to embrace an unattainable persona. Because we believe it's the right thing to do, or we don't, but someone wants us to believe it is. So, in today's post, I want to talk about three peer pressure traits we should evict from our lives and learn to embrace being perfectly imperfect.

what needs to go

1. Control – Perfection holds you hostage to feeling that everything has to be done, and it has to be done by you. If controlling everything around you is your thing, accepting that there will be times that it doesn't work according to plan is your best friend. If you don't have a backup plan for what to do if something is amiss, figure out what is most important and put all your energy into completing that first. Control is the little sister of perfection. Control is needy and vies for your attention, always pointing out potential failure. When control shows up, do something to counter. If control for you keeps things tidy to the detriment of enjoying family time. Give yourself a limit. Set a time to get things organized. Let your family enjoy your home, play with toys, and watch movies. But an hour before bedtime, the entire family needs to clean up and get ready for the day. You've set a 1hr time limit before getting ready for bed. It doesn't change the nighttime routine and might offer you the added benefit of your kids falling asleep faster because they are extra tired from playing and cleaning. Booyah!! This way, you have satisfied your inner taskmaster, and your family had a great Tuesday night. Look at you being great!

2. Comparison – Stop comparing your experience to someone else's situation. Remember, people will only show you the good parts of their lives. You'll never know how many pictures they took before the perfect one is posted. Just because the counters and floors are clean doesn't mean there isn't a pile of clutter in the pantry. The truth is, if you use your kitchen, you're going to make a mess. There is no need to punish yourself for having dirty plates in the sink. Consider yourself blessed to prepare a hot meal at home, rather than beating yourself up for not keeping a pristine home 24/7. The next time you fangirl over someone's IG photos, think about a memorable moment in your life and how fun it was for you. Stay there with the memory. Only focus on the good part. See? Your life is pretty awesome. Besides, you likely didn't take a picture because you were having too much fun.

3. Doubt – Stop doubting if you're doing a good job. You are! Think about your life and your family. Even on the hard days, most people would not want to trade places with others. Self-doubt often arises when you focus on the negative. What if they don't like me? What if it doesn't work out? We seldom ask ourselves, "What if they think I'm awesome? Or what if it's amazing?! A shift in your perspective will reveal that the only person who is questioning your worth is you. Stop doing that! If you are juggling work, family, or whatever, stop doubting that you are anything less than stellar.

the flow

Life is challenging, and there are plenty of things to stress about. Whether or not you are as put-together as another should not be one of them. So what if your kids' shoes don't match, or they are wearing a Halloween costume to church? Be proud that you made it to church. Tell yourself that your messy kitchen and toys in the living room are yours. No one else has to live in your house, and even if that's not the norm at the neighbors' house, who cares? Let's normalize living to the best of our ability with joy. The standard is yours. We are all making adjustments based on our constantly changing lives. The best part is, we are adjusting. That means we can still learn, grow, and evolve. So, by all means, embrace the adventure while being perfectly imperfect. You have permission!

affirmations to get you through

• My home may not be the most organized space, but it's full of laughter, safety, and joy. For these reasons, it is beautiful, and I am blessed.

• I do not govern my success or growth by the standards of the internet. I am a real person, having a real experience. The internet does not define me.

• I recognize that I am a beautiful work in progress. Just because I have flaws, I am not flawed.